VIDEOS
Limitations?
Video Limiations? description:
April 7, 2015
I only have one hand. Some have referred to this scenario as a “disability” or “deformation.” However, the only time I would have even considered these terms as applicable to myself are in the eyes of others. I have never thought that I am deformed or that I have a disability because I have never been treated that way and I have never had an issue doing something on my own that a “normal” person would be able to do. That being said, I have always wondered about my own limitations. I have always wondered how having one hand could limit me in another way. For instance what would I do if I were truly disabled? I want my video to challenge the perception and understanding of disabilities and I also want to call attention to the terms used to describe differences like mine. Terms such as “deformation” or “disability.”
I was raised in a family of artist and I have only ever been praised for my artistic talents and I have sometimes even heard “Wow your such an amazing artist and you only have one hand.” Yes, I only have one hand but what if I didn’t have any? Would I still be an amazing artist then? This video was a practice and experimentation of my own limitations that also served to satisfy my curiosity about my own limitations. My parents never referred to me as a child with a disability and they never acted like my missing hand was an issue or even different than anyone else. I wanted to address how normal my difference seems to me and my family compared to the outside world. The song in the background was a song my dad wrote for me because when I was younger I would not be able to sleep if my parents didn’t kiss me goodnight. This simple gesture of unconditional love that has always been evident in my family has probably been apart of the reason that I do not feel any different than other people. In fact I feel as though I exercise a strong level of confidence despite my “little hand” (term my family uses). The strong contrast between the “happy-go-lucky” music and the serious subject matter exhibits the strange dynamic that has always been evident between my own view and my families view of my “little hand” contrasted with the rest of the worlds view.
Prior to this video, I had never attempted to paint with my "little hand." This is the first time I have ever made art with my "little hand." However, it will certainly not be the last.
Public Interactions
Public Interaction Piece:
For my final time studio project I wanted to do a performance that followed up my last project, in which I painted a portrait using my ‘little hand.’ For my performance piece I stood at the entrance to my friend Carmen’s live art gallery/ house party. While standing in front of the door I had my close friend film my interaction with the public from one angle and I had a boy I have been dating film from another angle. For my interaction piece, I stood at the door as a “greeter” when I greeted each person I would shake their hand with my ‘little hand’ rather than my ‘normal’ hand. Some of the guests I expected I would know while others I had never met in my life.
Originally I expected that this piece would be about how society reacts to someone’s “difference”, “disability”, or “deformation.” However, this project ended up being about how I reacted to the vulnerable position I had placed myself in. It was not until the morning of the gallery show that I realized the severity of the situation. The only person who I have ever allowed physical contact with my ‘little hand’ was my father. I had not even wanted other family members to hold or shake my hand. Realizing that I had created these physical boundaries inside my own family reminded me that I have never actually physically shared that part of myself with anyone before. I also realized that I have never felt comfortable even talking about my ‘little hand’ with a boy that I was dating. Yet, here I was asking him to help me with this video project along with my one of my best friends and a bunch of strangers.
After each interaction I could not hide how entirely uncomfortable I truly was. I tried to make myself feel better by having a exuberant and overly positive attitude as I greeted each person. I also tried to act entirely normal, this façade, I realized, was more for myself than anyone else. The disappointment and uncomfortable feeling I had after each touch was clearly evident on my face. In those aftermath moments, despite the support of my friends I still felt the awful cringe of uncomfort. After filming was complete I felt a sense of so much relief along with a sense of pride in myself. When I finally was able to go inside and enjoy the show with my friends, the vulnerable and public experiment allowed me to feel a huge amount of comfort and a large sense of community. However, throughout the entire party I still felt a unevident amount of pride in myself that I didn't need to share with anyone else.
Orange Art
"Orange Art" was accepted into the Santa Barbara International film festival of
2016
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Published on Jul 26, 2015
Hannah P. Jaffe painting with her "little hand"
Music by Douglas Jaffe
Inspired by a painting that she saw in a dream one night, She decided to re-create the painting but with a twist...
I decided to paint with my "one hand" for the second time in my life (see video "limitations" which was the first time). This painting and the painting process are both a realistic metaphor of "exposure." Exposure within the simple tool used to create such an intimate piece of art. Exposure in the manic manner in which I peel the dried paint from my hand, lending a bare and naked view of it to the audience. And lastly, exposure in the higher quality of the video compared to the first video "limitations."
This video, speaks more to the idea of truth, of letting go, and of how you expose your true self when you stop hiding. However, it also performs the challenges that become evident once any act of vulnerability and exposure are unveiled. This is shown during the struggle that takes place as the dried paint is removed.
Orange Bird Art
hannahpjaffe.wix.com/heart
